party faq
as revealed by your cruise director,
Jamie Zawinski.

1. Party? What party?

   Read the flyer.

2. So you're throwing a party, and there will be two cool bands there, and you're not charging admission, and in attendance will be many attractive members of the appropriate sex for whatever my perverted taste is, and the drinks are free?

   You have to pay for the drinks. Don't be a cheapskate.

3. What's so great about open source code that it deserves a party?

   Don't worry about that. It's a party. If you need to know the answer to that question, ask someone there.

4. You say the bands are cool, but I have... uh... been inside for a while, and I haven't heard of them yet. What are they like?

   In their own words:

   EBN:	``As ordered by the 1994 Telecommunication Breakdown Act, Emergency Broadcast Network (EBN), a Fortune 1000 software corporation, is demonstrating the EBN VideoSampler (tm), a computer-based video music jamming technology for creating live, DJ-style performance art.''
   AWD:	``AWD is a multi-dimensional sensory experience fusing explosive dance, sirenic vocals, primal rhythms, and fireplay in an interactive dreamscape.''

   Chances are you haven't seen anything like either of them, so come early and stay late if you know what's good for you! (Consider this a 30% upgrade to your lame taste.)

5. The invitation says that the venue is 21+. I'm not yet 21, but I am really cute and possibly sexually promiscuous. Can I come?

   If you're sexually promiscuous, then you presumably know the answer to that question.

   Seriously, what part of 21+ don't you understand?

6. Will you go out of your way to help me get to the party? I live in Iceland and my rowboat has a hole in it.

   We'll help you from the sidewalk to the door (and the reverse, should you become a drunken nuisance.) Anything else is your responsibility.

7. Am I actually invited? I'm very insecure, and so this isn't totally clear to me yet.

   Yes, you're invited! And if you've contributed to the Mozilla project, then you also get in for free! Oh wait, I forgot, everyone gets in for free. Nevermind, then.

8. I'm a member of the press, and I find the thought of being surrounded by Netscape employees and other members of the Open Source community intriguing, especially considering that they will have had their inhibitions quashed by alcohol.

   Hi. I like your boots.

9. Who's DJing?

   We will have two separate sound systems for your listening and dancing pleasure, under the musical guidance of:

   • Sage of Bedlam and Slick;
   • Fuzzboy of milk.com;
   • Mephisto of Danse Macabre / Seventh Sin;

   and I can promise you that you will not be hearing that damned Prince song, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

10. How do I get there?

    By learning how to follow directions.

11. Questions? Comments? Suggestions?

    Bug jwz@mozilla.org, it's all his fault.